she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
