He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
