Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
