paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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