You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
