Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
