So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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