I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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