Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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