Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
