elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
