God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
