I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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