hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
