i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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