Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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