i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
