He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
