this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
