Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
