I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
