Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
