Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
