I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
