I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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