you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
