they said they heard you say put it in my butt
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
