i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
