I forgot how hot balto sounded
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
