I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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