Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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