Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
