and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
