dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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