I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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