u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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