Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
