big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
