You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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