Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
