I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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