Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
