she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I forgot how hot balto sounded
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
