john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
