Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
