Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
