her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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