i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
