i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
