I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
